


The Queen's Command

by anonymous_moose



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Kravitz has a complicated relationship with his boss, M/M, she is very scary after all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 13:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11556060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_moose/pseuds/anonymous_moose
Summary: Kravitz receives an unusually urgent summons -- his Queen wishes to speak with him, and she seems less than pleased.The grim reaper receives a reprimand. The god of death always gets what she wants.





	The Queen's Command

Kravitz knew when his Queen wished to speak with him, because She would make it known. Sometimes it would be through the small medallion with Her crest that never left his neck, other times through another emissary -- the birds were Her favorite, heralds of Her will -- but, on rare occasions, She eschewed any such formality.

Sometimes Kravitz simply felt Her pull. Aggressive and insistent. She was, after all, a part of him -- or, more accurately, he of Her. Kravitz could not resist Her command, just as his own hand could not resist his. Not that he had any desire to.

(Kravitz did wonder, at times, what precisely he was to his Queen. When She looked at him, did She see a person? A being? Or was it simply another aspect of Herself, like looking into a microscope and regarding one of the millions of cells that made up a mortal creature?)

Now was not the time for wonder or introspection, however. Kravitz tore open a portal, stepped through, and found himself in his Queen's chambers.

The Raven Queen lived apart from the realm She held dominion over. Kravitz always felt a strange sensation pass through him whenever he entered Her presence. He guessed they were at some mid-point between the Astral and Celestial planes, a space between spaces in which the Raven Queen conducted Her business.

He stepped forward, looking around. The room appeared the same as it always did: an endless sea of stone columns, lit by torches of blue fire and the delicate wisps of pyreflies. The columns stretched in all directions, each marked by the same unending pattern of runic symbols -- the names of all those who had ever lived, their births and deaths, carved into the stone in an artful and wholly incomprehensible script.

Kravitz turned in a slow circle. The Raven Queen was not present to greet him. Odd. He cleared his throat.

"My Queen," he said respectfully, voice echoing into the distant darkness. "You summoned me?"

"Yes."

Kravitz startled, but didn't jump. He turned to face Her.

When he had first crossed over to the Astral plane, the Raven Queen had appeared to him. She took the form of a woman in black, a dozen feet tall, hooded and veiled with a feathery cloak the color of midnight. Kravitz threw himself on the ground before Her, said the words he'd repeated in Her temple all his life, done the sort of things one supposed they should before a god. The Raven Queen had conducted Herself with the dignity and gravity befitting Her position, and when She had bent Her knee and lifted his head, his Queen had offered him the job that would come to define his new, unearthly existence.

How different things were now, he thought, as he saw Her now; not a woman at all, no, nothing so simple. He had learned later, from others in his line of work, that whenever She appeared to mortals, She took a simpler form for their benefit, something they could parse and comprehend. It made the initial job offer go smoother. As time had gone by (in as much as any time truly passed in the Astral plane) his Queen had revealed more of herself to Kravitz, a sort of familiarity growing between them, until She appeared as She did now.

The Raven Queen filled his vision. A barely-comprehensible assemblage of pitch black feathers, strong wings, sharp beaks, gleaming talons, and shining eyes, all in a multitude of shapes and sizes. There was a vague shape to Her, an outline that seemed to shimmer and warp, as if space itself struggled to capture what She was. When She moved, it was in indistinct billowing clouds of shadow that formed as She needed them and disappeared when She didn't.

Kravitz bowed, deeply and respectfully. "My Queen."

"Kravitz," She said, in a voice that was many. "How good of you to come."

He was glad he hadn't bothered to put on his skin for this; it made it easier to hide his frown. What was that tone She took? And why did She say that? Of course he came.

"I exist at your pleasure, my Queen," he said, hoping that was enough to convey his meaning.

The Raven Queen drew closer to him, large taloned feet clicking against the stone floor while great wings stretched and flapped behind her. Sometimes She didn't bother defining a specific head for Kravitz to look at or speak to, and he would end up keeping his eyes low to the ground, or staring somewhere in the center of Her mass. Kravitz found this frustrating and uncomfortable. Initially, he had wondered if his feelings were simply so far beneath Her concern that they didn't register. These days, he was certain She simply enjoyed making him squirm.

"That is true," the Raven Queen said, one of her great feathered heads briefly looming over him. "You exist at my pleasure. You serve my will. You do only as I wish. Is that not so?"

Kravitz would have swallowed, had he a throat to do so in that moment. He looked up to meet one set of Her eyes. "Yes, Your Highness. That is so."

"You are a part of me," She said, Her voice growing somehow larger as the head he'd been addressing shifted lower, down towards the center of Her. "As I am a part of you. Intrinsic, and inseparable. Like all mortal things. Is that not so?"

Now he would be sweating, if he had the capability; his Queen had not spoken so formally to him since the breakout from the Eternal Stockade, some years ago. It had been a reprimand, then. So what did that make this?

"That is so, my Queen," he said solemnly, lowering his gaze.

She lowered one of Her many heads to his eye level. Its dark eyes blinked as it tilted.

"So, then," She said slowly, an edge of regal menace in Her echoing voice, "if you truly understand that all this is true..."

Kravitz braced himself, though he didn't know why -- it wasn't as though the Raven Queen had to physically strike him to destroy him. What had he done that had displeased Her so? What sin had he committed that deserved this scorn?

"My Queen," he ventured cautiously, "I--"

One of Her massive feet slammed on the ground and She loomed closer. Kravitz fell silent. He didn't move, his hands still held behind his back, his head still bowed respectfully.

"Kravitz," She said, her words dripping with disappointment. "Of all my emissaries, I had thought you better than this. So many faithful years of service, so much shared between us..."

Kravitz ground his teeth in his skull. He squeezed his hands tightly and heard the bones creak.

"...and you don't even invite me to your wedding?"

He jerked his head up instantly. The head in front of him, as grim and unreadable as any common raven, seemed to grin somehow. It tilted its head and its feathers ruffled as it clicked its beak.

"I -- you -- that is--"

The Raven Queen's laughter filled the chamber. The pyreflies danced, bright blue lights flickering in the dark.

"Dear boy," She drawled, Her size shrinking considerably, "forgive me, but you are such a stiff, sometimes."

Kravitz sighed, pinching the bone above his nose as She laughed at Her own terrible joke. This, he was far more familiar with. "Forgive me, my Queen, but is that what this is about?"

"Of course!" She said lightly, now only around ten feet tall, a thin sliver of the massive presence She had taken before. "Birthdays, I understand. Time is looser in my realm, and they stop having meaning after a while. But weddings? Kravitz, I should think I merit a wedding."

"Of course you do, my Queen. I merely--"

"I mean, really, what the hell do I have to do? Ask to come?" She huffed, and all of her feathers ruffled at once. The sole raven's head atop what passed for Her shoulders turned away in disgust. "And here I thought we were more than employer and employee."

"Your Highness, please--"

"Now, I know that I haven't been able to offer you a retirement package, or allow you to use your accrued vacation time," She said clinically, "but that is simply the way things are. We're swamped! What am I to do, let the laws of life and death slip a bit here and there because one of my employees went on honeymoon? We're not a stationary store, we're the guardians of mortality itself, you know that--"

"I'm well aware," Kravitz said loudly, taking the risk of interrupting Her. "I'm not ungrateful for the time I've been given, I can promise you that."

The Raven Queen bent and peered at him. "Well, then?"

Kravitz made a noise in the back of his throat and scratched at his cheek with a bony finger. "I... merely thought you had more important things to do."

"Do I seem busy to you, my boy?" She said sardonically, sounding simultaneously old and young, petulant and aloof.

"Not at the moment, my Queen, no."

Her head tilted, peering at him with one large black eye. "Well, then?" She repeated.

Kravitz sighed and settled his shoulders. "Would you do me the honor of attending my wedding," he said flatly.

His Queen gasped, rearing back to Her ten-foot height. "Why, Kravitz, what a lovely thing to be asked by a friend! The honor would be mine!"

Again, he was glad he had no skin, that She could not see his sneer. "Many thanks, my Queen."

"Shall I give you away as well?"

"I--" Kravitz froze. "Pardon?"

Her head seemed to grin again.

"That won't be necessary, Your Highness," he said wearily.

"Oh, please?"

"No, I'm quite alright, thank you."

She tutted. It sounded like a caw. "You're no fun."

"Yes, my Queen," he said rotely. "The wedding is--"

"July the 27th, one o'clock, just north of the village of Greendale, with a reception to follow."

Kravitz stared at Her. Her many wings flexed, out and in. He imagined She thought this made Her look innocent, somehow.

"Shall I bring a hot dish?"

"That won't be necessary," he said quickly. "My husband will be minding the catering himself."

"Ah, yes. Of course he will." The Raven Queen tittered, and it sounded like a schoolgirls' choir. "And no need to worry about my appearance, I'm sure I can find something unassuming to slip into."

"I'm sure," Kravitz drawled. "If that's all?"

"Yes, my boy, that's all for now." She dismissed him with a wave of Her wing, sweeping as She turned away. "I won't keep you from your family any longer."

Kravitz bowed, as deeply and respectfully as he had when he entered. "Thank you, my Queen."

"Thank _you_ , Kravitz. Give my best to your fiancée," She replied seriously, Her head turning towards him in profile. "I've not forgotten what all of you did. I never will."

Kravitz had no response to this, no words that could adequately express what it meant. He merely nodded and turned away, cleaved a hole into the Astral plane, and left without another word.

He was already rehearsing how he'd explain this to Taako. He'd probably find it deeply amusing. Probably.

* * *

 

The day of the wedding, all the invited guests arrived, save one. It was only when he stood waiting at the altar that Kravitz noticed the raven perched in the oak tree behind the audience. A fair bit larger than average, it regarded him with a thoroughly imperious stare.

When Taako finally made his appearance -- strutting down the aisle with his arms thrown wide, glittering pyrotechnics and fountains of sparks shooting up behind him as he walked -- Kravitz was certain he saw the bird grin.

And as the ceremony concluded, and Kravitz dipped Taako down for a passionate kiss, he was equally certain he heard a raven's caw intermingled with the cheers and applause.


End file.
